Goodbye Singlehood!

I am copying Jenn, and completing a condensed version of "Things I look forward to list." I only have 3 days to wait!
--Never having to say goodnight on the doorstep in the cold
--Keeping a clean, uncluttered apartment, especially the kitchen
--Becoming independent of my parents and dependent on Anthony
--Starting my own family
--Cuddling in bed
--Sharing my life with someone, or better yet, having an eternal companion
--Giving 100% (This is one of Jenn's comments, and I never understood it until I became engaged.)
--Receiving my endowment
--Being sealed for time and all eternity in the St. George temple by Anthony's Grandpa
--Six days of stress-free bliss that I get to spend with Anthony alone and enjoy his company


I am so excited to be sealed for time and all eternity, and begin my life with Anthony. This is what I have been preparing my whole life for--getting married in the temple! I couldn't have asked for a more perfect man for me than Anthony. :)

For the record...
Because of Anthony's good memory, here's a timeline of our time together:
February 28th--Anthony and I met country dancing
1st weekend in March--our first date
April 13th--Anthony gave me flowers for my birthday
April 17th--Anthony and I held hands for the first time while watching Australia
April 26th--Anthony and I's first kiss and the night we made things official
Summer--Anthony and I had lots of fun and go to know each other.
October--I love you
October 15th--Set the temple date for December 22nd
October 17th--Anthony proposed in American Fork Canyon
December 22nd--MARRIAGE!!!

I'm still alive!

It may seem as if I have fallen of the face of the Earth, but in reality, I am just engaged. I am getting married December 22nd! Woo hoo! That's in 22 days in case you wanted to know... So, yes, sorry, I have been extra horrible with socializing and communicating with people. I still love you. I am so freaking busy. Everything is falling into place though, and my future mother-in-law and my mom are both awesome. Geez, I am so ready for my wedding to just be here. I am so excited! I was worried our engagement would be too short. haha

Thanksgiving was fabulous. I have so much to be thankful for. Anthony and I went to Panaca of course. I love my future-in-laws. Lauren came too, and she likes my future-in-laws too.

So, that's all for updates now. There is lots I could say, but I have a 10 page paper due Wednesday morning, and I have like 2 pages written... cool... But I didn't want to let November go by without a post, and I wanted to let y'all know that I still love you. I will be better... if not this semester, definitely next semester.

Check this out!

I don't spend much time on the internet these days, including the blog world and facebook (in case you didn't notice...). However, my cousin Danae told me about this site. You will enjoy it. There's some funny stuff. Who said the average life is boring?

Sweet Home Alabama

That reminds me of my very first Sunday at BYU... Middle of Relief Society and my phone goes off: "Sweet home Alabama..." It was awkward. I didn't even know the caller. Lame. But it is a great story.


So I got work off the first two weeks of August (I work at the Creamery on 9th... in case you didn't know), and I headed home. However, this time I brought two people with me... Anthony and my 8-year-old cousin Brynna.

First off, that provided funny experiences at the airport. I will let you use your imagination...

We had a blast of course. We rock climbed, ate real Southern barbeque in a real Southern manner (put sauce, beans, and coleslaw on top of the pork on a bun b/c it makes it more moist), swam, ate good home-cooked meals, saw my sister perform in "the King and I," saw my brother's soccer games, met people..., and played lots of games of course.

Anthony and I taught my family how to play Hand and Foot. My family taught Anthony how to play Five Crowns, Perudo, TransEuropa, Killer Uno, Chicken Feet (a dominoes game), among others.

Perudo was definitely the fave of the trip--It's a liar dice game. Everyone has their own set of 5 dice and a cup. After shaking your dice, you keep your dice hidden from everyone else and bet on how many of a particular number have been rolled. Highly recommended.

There were a lot of people who wanted to see me. Actually they really just wanted to meet Anthony. ha

My aunt and her 5 little kids came to visit for a couple days. That was fun... and crazy. My cousins liked to call Anthony their "future cousin." They liked him... obviously. They teased us a lot. ("Do you kiss him????")

My family liked Anthony a lot. (Who doesn't?) I think my mom feels a lot better having met him now. Fortunately, she had heard good things about Anthony from my extended family who he has met. Now my parents know firsthand that Anthony is a really good guy who treats me well. My mom especially got a kick out of Anthony and I when we teased each other, especially when he teased me... Even Kyle liked Anthony. I think Anthony earned bonus points with him for teasing me. Kyle (Mr. Fashion Conscious) had only one complaint--Anthony wore jean shorts.

I don't know why I am using past tense. My family still likes Anthony. Both my family and Anthony still exist. No worries there.

Anthony enjoyed meeting my family. After all, when you meet someone's family, you understand him or her a little bit better. Anthony claims I act a little differently with my family. My family and I tease each other quite a bit, and I hold my own quite well--Anthony enjoyed it. Except with my dad. I always lose with my dad.

So, the second day we were home, we went rock climbing and had to take two cars for the 1.5 hour drive. Boys rode in one car and girls in another. It was my dad's suggestion. Anthony survived though... happily even. I would have killed Anthony if he had done that to me. Grant it, I met his family after we had been dating for only two weeks. Slightly different... (We now call the beginning of our relationship our "shaky stage." haha I was... umm... flippant...)

My family hits the sack at a decent hour. So, Anthony and I had some good late night chats too...

Then Anthony left. And it was sad. We spent nearly a week apart. But he brought me flowers. And bought me chocolate.

That's all. Kinda random and rambly. And long. Hopefully this appeased any burning questions within you. Probably not... but this is all you get on the Internet. ;)

Cleanliness

News Flash! I have always enjoyed cleanliness over messiness.

Those who have known me during high school or the beginning of my college career know that I did not always keep a clean room. I began to keep a cleaner room out of respect for my roommates. Then I began to realized how much I like things clean--I finally saw the light!

As it turns out I saw the light most of my life... it just dimmed for a little bit. When I was home, my mom reminded me that I used to always have a clean room (until high school). I thought... and thought.. and thought... and remembered! I used to keep my bed made and room spotless believe it or not. (Then I hit high school...) When my sister and I played together, particularly Barbies, I used to make us play in her room. That way it was her room that got messy... hahahaha I am definitely back to normal. I love things clean.

Panaca

"Conveniently located smack-dab in the middle of nowhere."

Anthony and I went to visit his family in Panaca (for the second time this summer). Panaca is a small town about 30 minutes south of the Nevada/Utah border and currently has about 800 occupants. It was settled by some of Anthony's ancestors in the mid 1800s. There are two nearby towns of similar size, Caliente (prounced Calientee) and Pioche, an old mining town. Las Vegas is 2.5 hours south and Cedar City is 1 hour north. Far from civilization.

They have a grocery store (which is more like a large convenience store), a gas station, a car wash, and a diner. That's it. Talk about a lack of civilization. No movie theater, fast food, shopping mall, barber shop... nada. I love it.

Panaca is full of gems, such as the underground spring that is always warm (even midwinter) and the sand dunes where you can play "jump the bush." Cathedral Gorges, a nearby state park, is also a fun place to visit. The town is full of trails to go four-wheeling too. (Anthony and I definitely took advantage of them. Too bad I am not too good at driving those things...)

Everyone knows everyone and everything that goes on. It is heart-warming and loving... yet frequently awkward. One of Anthony's cousins fell off the zipline and had to call an ambulance. Everyone and their dog came when they heard the sirens and saw the commotion.

The town is full of horses, fields, and old rusty cars. The town has quite the rustic feel. No cookie-cutter homes here. I wish I had a photographer's eye and could capture it in some photographs. I took a few landmark pics but failed to capture the essence of this lovely town.

You can't help but love Panaca. You always leave with a smile.

Summer Lovin' Part Two

I've been slacking in the blogging department. However, I thought I would add to my rockin' list of summer activities. Within the past month I have:
--Attended the Strawberry Days rodeo in Pleasant Grove and ate strawberries 'n cream.
--Worked at the Creamery on Ninth. (I love visitors...)
--Camped in Payson canyon and cooked some amazing dutch oven meals.
--Had bonfires and s'mores in Provo canyon.
--Visited Las Vegas.
--Visited the Freedom Festival in Provo.
--Cooked fun things, such as lentil tacos, brie chicken, homemade mac n' cheese, delicious brownies, enchiladas, etc.
--Ate Kneaders' french toast.
--Realized I can run an 8'30'' mile.
--Experimented with my running and biking routes and discovered the lovely, diverse houses of Provo.
--Attended my first murder mystery dinner.
--Spent lots of time with Anthony.
--And last, but not least, had a GNO with some of my favorite people--Jenna, Meagan, and Jenn. Our last one for a long time...

I have yet to...
--Go home to Alabama (2 more weeks... and I am bringing Anthony with me.)
--Take a 2nd trip to Panaca.
--Bike to Utah Lake.
--Make a Cafe Rio dinner.
--Discover the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe.
--Read for fun.
--Hike Timp.
--Swim at Seven peaks.
--Run a race or complete a triathlon.

I love summer. Thank goodness it isn't over yet!

Summer Lovin'

Summer is treating me fabulously. Here are a few highlights:
--Anthony
--Living in a cute, blue house
--Camping in Moab with some of my favorite people
--Visit to Zion's National Park
--Visit to Panaca, Nevada--a small town in the middle of Nevada
--Lots of hiking, such as Stewart Falls, the Y, and some trail in Sandy
--My aforementioned World Religions class
--A public health class--I now feel a little more connected to Meagan and Jenn.

Up and coming plans:
--A trip home
--Las Vegas
--Utah festivals and rodeos
--Hiking Mount Timpanogas
--Lots of reading
--Cooking for fun
--Harry Potter movie (and party) and Hannah Montana movie
--Bike riding
--Seven Peaks and Lagoon
--More playing outside
--Cleaning and organizing
--Visiting Jenna's house

Now, I just need a job... Ideas?!?!

A theological post

I am taking Rel C 351 Survey of World Religions from Brother Gaskill, and I am freakin' excited!

First of all, Brother Gaskill is quite entertaining and extremely sarcastic. It will prove to be an interesting class.

Secondly, I am looking forward to expanding my horizons. Many Mormons fail to respect and understand other religions, and I am glad I will not longer be one of them. (I never disrespected them, but I am definitely going to gain an unbiased understanding of them.) I would love to simply type up all of the benefits, but I won't bore you.

This class will give me much food for thought. My first class ended with the following question:

Does God want all people to be "Mormons"?

My immediate response was... of course! However, I soon realized this may not be so...

What about Mother Theresa? She probably could have not have had such a far-reaching influence as an LDS Relief Society president. God has used and inspired many nonmormons.

Why will there be so many who pass through this life without becoming "mormon?"

The general consensus of the conversation was that the Lord is in control. He knows what He is doing. God wants all of his children to be exalted and knows what each needs to reach exaltation. Everyone becoming "mormon" during this mortal life might not be His plan. If it was, He probably would have set up missionary work a little differently. Living a righteous life according to your beliefs and knowledge is much more important. I would rather be a devout Catholic than an inactive "mormon." Many good people will readily accept the gospel in the Spirit World instead.

I am grateful, however, to be a member of the LDS church. The knowledge I have brings me closer to the Savior and brings peace and happiness to my life.

That's it... I quit! Part II

I failed.

Actually, I made it Tuesday and Wednesday without dessert or candy. It was very refreshing.

I have a family with a huge sweet tooth and a boy. Enough said.

I will try again soon though...



P.S. Did you know that the Smart Cookie in Provo is now... CLOSED! *gasp* Luckily I got some before it closed. There is still one in American Fork and one coming to Fort Union. Very, very, very sad day.

The real meaning of DTR

I am taking a break from studying (since I don't take enough of those... ha) by writing in my blog. Actually, I just finished part of an assignment so I am rewarding myself. I swear my abilitiy to focus lately has been nonexistent... ask Meagan...

So, I had my first real ever DTR last night. How does the non-Mormon world exist without them? (Or, do they exist but without that terminology?) Actually, I find them annoying, awkward, and unnecessary... usually. Just go with the flow... (I guess I can't really say with my lack of experience... but this has been my opinion, however uncalled for it may be.) I do believe they can be beneficial means of communication, especially if both parties have a different view of the relationship. You know... one or two of these might have saved me a little heartache...

Okay, I told a little white lie... I think I have had desires for a form of DTR in the past...

Anyways, this reminds me of a little story. It's not my story, but I quite enjoy telling it. So, there was this boy chasing one of my cousins. Well, they had been on a couple of dates, but my cousin was trying to avoid him. Anyways, this boy called her, tolded her he needed a DTR, and would pick her up shortly. My cousin was shocked--he had no reason to expect any relationship at all! Well, he picked her up... and there was another couple in the car!! Talk about awkward... After much anticipation, they arrived at Del Taco. The boys got out of the car, and the girls looked at each other confusedly. Then the boys explain that they needed a Del Taco Run... Oh, boy, my cousin was mad...
Good story, huh?

That's it... I quit!

Yesterday, I ate more unhealthy than healthy food.
Today I am headed in that direction...

However, I quit. No more sugar for a week. I need to regain my self-control and unaddict myself to sugar. I may make exceptions... but they better be good!

I am writing a blog in order to hold myself accountable. Expect to hear the results of this test next Monday evening.

If you have been in the same boat as me, feel free to join me in my expedition.

I've heard that it takes 3 weeks to form a habit... I may extend this experiment.

Our Journey Home

I mentioned in my previous post the touching WC devotional on Friday. The girl giving the devotional created a "found poem," a poem made up of quotations from other poems. She wrote a found poem quoting various parts of all of our music and reflecting the theme of our concert. Here it is:

[We are] far from home
In the nighttime of [our] fear
Amid th’encircling gloom
Sick, sad, simple
Weary, weeping, wild
Should we die before our journey’s through?

Lead, kindly Light

Keep the home fires burning
Keep thou [our] feet
One step restores
One step renews
One step rewards
One step enough for me
‘Til we’ve seen this journey through

Sister, surely goodness and mercy shall follow
And the messenger shall say,
“Welcome home”

We’ll find the place which God for us prepared
We’ll find such harmony
We’ll all feel glad
We’ll make the air with music ring

Happy day!
Hurrah!
Lauda!
Hosanna!
All is well!

And in the house of the Lord,
I’m going to live forever.

Not hard to tell why I, along with many other singers and audience members, thought it was a great concert, huh? Don't worry... I will definitely be blogging again when the concert airs on PBS.

I already miss WC. I have thought about trying to rearrange things in order to continue WC. However, sooner or later I have to move on. I know it is my time to move on. It was an amazing opportunity, and I am forever changed.

Happy birthday to me!

It's my birthday!
I am 22. I am old.
It was a good day.
My lunch consisted of an ice cream sundae, fruit, and pizza crusts. My sister and cousins surprised me with dinner and made me one of my favorite cakes. They sang to me at the ward talent show. A boy surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a meaningful note. My family called to talked to me. I got to spend time with some of the people that mean the most to me in my life.
All in all.. it was not just a good but a great day!

Ode to Women's Chorus

A little background information: Tonight and last night I performed in my last choir concert, “A Pilgrim’s Journey Home.” This concert was a HUGE production. The preparation (and even aftermath) included hours and hours of practice and recording. You may have heard of the last big choir productions, Songs of Praise and Remembrance and A Thanksgiving of American Folk Hymns. They play them all the time in the HFAC. Well, this will be comparable… they plan to sell it to PBS. Just imagine the stress involved, the details of the music, the set, the uniforms, the makeup, the audio and visual recordings, etc… especially if you consider the fact this is a great chance to spread the hope and joy found within the gospel of Christ to others.

I do not even know where to begin. I just sang at my last choir concert, and countless emotions are running through my veins. Many experiences and emotions have built up over the past three years. Perhaps though, I will just cover the events of the night and touch on some of my feelings. I only wish my words could do justice to my feelings.

Due to late nights of recording, rehearsing, homework, and stupidity, I was exhausted Friday night. I was sore, tired, and stressed, along with my fellow WC members. However, the show must go on. For the first time ever though, we were actually ready for the concert. We knew the music like the back of our hand and could focus on the nitty gritty details (lets reach f rather than mf at this specific spot). It is quite the rewarding experience to push the music that much closer to perfection. We were all exhausted, but we all nailed nearly all of our music.

For those of you who don't understand, singing is hard. Of course, you have to learn the music: each pitch and rhythms... exactly. Meanwhile, you have to support your sound with breath and not have any tension... in your throat, tongue or anywhere else in your body. This includes good posture, resonance, etc. It is a continual process to build technique. While thinking about technique you also have to think about the expressive qualities of the music (i.e. phrasing, dynamics, etc.). This perhaps takes the most time, and it is planned out measure by measure. Meanwhile, you have to connect to the music personally: what does it mean to you? Then, as part of a choir, you have to always keep your eye on the conductor and follow his/her hands exactly... You honestly have no idea how much there is to think about and do....

Everything began to sink in during our preconcert devotional on Friday…
I was reminded of the great opportunity I have had to sing in WC:
The opportunity to bless others’ lives through music and share my testimony with others. What a great message the music of this concert contains:
This life is a journey, but Heavenly Father will lead me home. He is my shepherd, and “He anoints me, guards me, and loves me.”
I knew it was not a good thing if I was already starting to cry…

Oh, how I will miss the Spirit I felt daily in Women's Chorus!

Saturday’s performance proved to be even better! I was more refreshed and well aware that this was my last concert! I was determined to give 100% of myself emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically.
I always cake on the makeup for choir concerts, but the makeup had to be extra special for the TV of course. We had a film makeup specialist come and talk to us… even the boys wore makeup… haha. That was funny watching their faces get powdered.
Before going on stage, Sister Appolonie saw me, and said “You look like a hot, suntanned babe. Where’s your bikini… oh wait, you don’t have one of those.” We were supposed to be silent before going on stage…

Oh, how I will miss the dresses, the earrings, the makeup... and singing with beautiful girls!

Fortunately, we recomposed ourselves before going onstage, and it was a magnificent experience! I sang beautifully and bore my soul along with 170+ other girls. It was absolutely glorious! It not only strengthened the testimonies of the audience members but also my own. As I sang throughout this concert, the Spirit bore witness to me over and over of the existence of Our Father in Heaven and his knowledge of us and his love for us. I do not know how anyone could sing or hear this music and not feel of Heavenly Father's love!

Oh, how I will miss the opportunity to bear my testimony and feel others' testimonies through music!

The last few songs with the philharmonic orchestra and combined choirs were the most powerful for many singers. You have no idea what it feels like to sing with all of them! The audience immediately gave a standing ovation!! I stood their soaking in the experience as the applause roared, the conductors bowed, and the choirs and orchestra members smiled.
p.s. Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Sister W. Tanner attended Friday night. Sister Sheri L. Dew attended Saturday night.

Oh, how I will miss blessing the lives of those in the audience, hearing the roar of the applause, witnessing the standing ovation, and feeling an overwhelming since of accomplishment and gratitude.

Oh, how I will miss the talented choir directors, especially Sister Appolonie. She is so loving and so talented. I love her! Oh, how I will miss my singing friends. Some of the girls I have seen every day for the past years. Oh, how I will miss the peace choir music brought daily into my life.

Most of all, I will miss the experience of singing with others. Of learning to blend with others. Of simultaneously bearing testimony through song. Of being in the middle of a rich, luscious chord. Of hearing a chord "lock" into place. Of singing the melody. Of singing in unison and sounding as one. Of being enveloped by glorious sounds.

Music anyone?

In these troubled economic times, I thought you would appreciate some advice...

I highly recommend you check out gomusic.ru. It's a Russian music website, and you can buy music for about 15 cents a song! Actually prices range from about 9-19 cents. You even get discounts if you buy the whole CD. Occasionally the music may lack in quality and some newer songs may not be available yet.

Here is how this website works: First, with a Visa add money to your account. Then click away! The songs are mp3 files, and yes, you can play them on itunes or in your ipod.

How can you refuse buying a song for 15 cents????

Note: FYI, the system changes ocassionally. Currently you cannot add money to your account without adding at least $30. In the past, you have been able to add amounts of $10 or $20. A few times, they have taken away the Visa option and you have to do it through the phone. Just think how much music you could buy for $30 though... a lot more than the 30 songs you could buy on itunes!

The Ophelia Syndrome (applied to school)

So, I was talking with my dear cousin today, and he was expressing his frustration with teachers. They say they want creativity, but in reality... they don't. You have to abide by their rules and guidelines. He has one teacher who really does want students to think outside of the box and asked them to read an article about the Ophelia syndrome. Ophelia, Hamlet's lover, followed Hamlet, went insane, and eventually committed suicide (although this matter can be debated). Those who don't think for themselves and blindly follow have this so-called Ophelia syndrome.

This conversation reminded me of reactions of several friends in some of my elementary education classes. Sometimes the teachers give us vague assignments on purpose and want to see with what we can come up with us. They want us to think creatively. This freaks many of my fellow classmates out--"What??? Things are not spelled out for us???" Heaven forbid we have to think for ourselves and get creative. And these are future teachers... oh boy...

No wonder our school system is going downhill. The ones who enjoy school can abide by the rules, and eventually some of them become teachers. Often they don't realize that not everyone likes following the rules.

People are different, and all learn differently. Surprise!

We like to party!

The end of the semester can bring many unpleasant things... finals, papers, projects, decisions, good-byes, etc.

However,I am looking forward to:

• General Conference!
  
• Semiannual GC breakfast party and GNO
• Homemade Cafe Rio
• Homemade brownies
  
• My last EVER BYU choir concert (April 10-11: Get your tickets ASAP!)
  
• Easter
• My birthday
  
• Spring weather and outside studying/napping
  
• End-of-the-year parties!

What unseen adventures are awaiting us???

Feel free to add to the list. :)

Boys, boys, boys...

So... the most unusual thing is going inside of my head at the moment. I actually don't want to play "hard to get" with a particular boy. I want to show interest. Weird, I know...
I have some pretty good clues that he at least thinks I am cute. There has been flirtation and flattery but little else.

However, I am not a forward girl, and I do not want to be one of "those" girls.

So, there's the dilemma. How do I show my interest and convince him to take me out without letting him know this. He needs to be a man, and I at least need to let him think he is "being a man."

Problem: He's not in my ward or classes, and so I never just run into him.

Advice here or elsewhere is gladly welcomed.

My ears! My ears!

Well, I have definitely become a choir snob. I can't help it. The past 3 years of music theory, music history, choir, and voice lessons have trained me well. HEAR. THIS. PITCH. and MUST. BE. IN. TUNE.

Consequently, church choirs on many levels often drive me nuts. I sit there and try and remind myself to not judge. They are singing with feeling. Don't analyze them. God doesn't care--Their singing is just as acceptable as in-tune singing.

However, I CAN'T HELP IT! I just really appreciate in-tune choirs with singers who have breath support. Out of tune singing can really disrupt the experience. Magical things happen when choirs are exactly in tune.... literally. You probably have no idea...

Disclaimer: I am not claiming I always sing in tune because I don't. This also is irrelevant to the fact I have not sung in a ward choir or stake choir this past year (actually I did once). I just have too much other stuff on my plate on Sundays. Plus, I like a break from choir.

Dancing

Pardon the blogging spree, but I have one more thing to say.

I am strongly attracted to men that can dance.
Especially Latin dancing... *Sigh*

They make me melt...

A balanced life

So, I have a lot of things on my plate this semester between extracurricular activities and school and church and my social life. It's definitely a balancing act.

Sometimes I feel like as a result I master none of it, but I love it all. I don't excel in any particular one thing. It's hard because there will always be someone better than you... especially at BYU.

Nonetheless, I do enjoy it all--dancing, singing, teaching, performing, loving, socializing, running, etc.

So, the question is... is it better to focus on a couple things and excel or to sample them all?

I am probably in the middle somewhere, which is probably ideal. Perhaps being closer to the excelling end would be nice though.

However, on a positive note, I have realized (based on my own observations and others' compliments) that I have a strong willingness and desire to try new things. I face new things with a positive attitude, and I love to try new things and face new situations. I never realized until recently that not everyone has that desire. I consider it a great blessing!

Oh the joys of running

Seriously... I love running.

I just had a good 3 mile run and pushed myself more than I have in a long time. It felt AMAZING! I really needed it physically and mentally. It cleared my mind and now I am ready to tackle life.

I just had to share my joy. The end.

Indecision

Last night I couldn't decide what pie to make... so many options! Turtle cheesecake, Oreo cream pie, strawberry pie, blueberry sour cream, peanut butter pie, tin roof sundae pie, grasshopper pie, etc. I finally picked two pies, and I am dang excited to make them. I am particularly excited to make Strawberry Smoothie Ice-Cream Pie, a recipe from Southern Living--a magazine with amazing recipes! Of course, you can't go wrong with a simple Mint-Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Pie either...
Yum Yum! Pie day is going to be AMAZING!

I also don't know where I am living next year... And when people ask me and worry for me, I get more worried. Either a) I can't live with my cousins, b)I am gonna live in a dump, c)or both. Maybe I'll luck out... maybe.

And I don't know what I am doing this summer. Social life or money???

Big decisions stink. P.U.

Oh the things you will find in a backpack of mine... an addendum

In my drama 352 class today, we played a game in which everyone put an item from their backpack in the center of the room. Then we each grabbed a different item from the pile and made up a story about it.

I put in my tuning fork. A few people thought that was really cool. Why do I have a tuning fork in my backpack they asked...

Someone also put in a tampon. FYI, there are 2 boys in my class. Someone made up a story about using a tampon to stop a nosebleed. People were pretty impressed with that idea. Been there, done that. Well, not that usage of a tampon, but I've had many discussions of that usage.

Someone else had a Spiderman figurine... Go figure. We are el eders.

People came up with some fun stories. Someone used headphones as a defibrillator. Someone else claimed a nighttime occupation as a Ninja in order to explain the possession of To-Go Advil.

Theater... fun stuff.

Sweet harmony

1st thought: I used to love to sing 1st soprano. They always had the melody... what more could I want? And those high, soaring notes--absolutely lovely!

However, psychologically high notes are "harder" (I am trying to change that thought pattern). I always got stuck as a 2nd soprano.

Recently, I realized I love singing 2nd soprano. I love the harmony--it's what makes the melody so great anyways. Without it, the melody is boring. 2nd sopranos are the best because they are in the middle of it all--between the higher and lower notes.

Now, I say: I don't want the melody... give me that sweet harmony!

What is art???

In my art class, we've been talking about the aesthetics of art, or rather how people determine that art is art. Basically, society does to some extent, and it's a personal opinion of where to draw the line (if you draw a line anywhere). As part of this discussion we discussed the possibilities of animal art. No, not picture of animals but animals making the artwork. I was very skeptical...

And then we saw this video...

Confession: I still don't know if I call it art, but you might.

We also saw a crazy video about a man wanting to kill a rat for art. And the killing of the rat is the art. Crazy.

P.s. I also painted an abstract flower with watercolors that I am pretty dang proud of, which is a rare occasion.

Oh the things you will find in a backpack of mine...

I cleaned out my backpack today.
I found the normal stuff: I-pod, contacts lubricator, money, comb, chap-stick, lip gloss, writing utensils, band-aids, jump drive, lotion, femininities, etc. Use your imagination, or really, just look in your own backpack.
However, I also found (not surprisingly):
--A-440 tuning fork
--whistle
--glue-stick
--ultra fine point black sharpie
--art pencil and gum eraser
--napkins
I have also been known to find the following:
--markers
--scissors
--tape
I think one's backpack can say a lot about a person.

I keep so much stuff in my backpack. This is why I take my backpack places when I don't need to sometimes. It's too much of a hassle to transfer it to a purse.

Maybe I should decrease the number of items in my backpack. It can get really heavy between carrying around books and food. Maybe the books aren't the problem... I could shed a pound or two if I got rid of half the little stuff.
But what if I need that extra something special in my backpack?

Nightmares in the south bedroom of G6

Normally, I don't remember my dreams, but lately this has not been so...
Instead, I have woken up the past two nights with signs of relief mingled with remnants of fright and terror.
Unfortunately, these dreams cannot be recounted perfectly. Only fragments of my feelings remain, and only faint scenes can be replayed in my mind. I would rather not review those dreams anyways.

Friday night could have been a happy dream full of love and peace. Instead, this dream was full of loss, shock, and betrayal. Meagan met a boy, fell in love, and got engaged... all in the same day. I didn't understand--how could Meagan leave me... alone!
(Note: This is an exaggeration.)

After a visit to the Draper temple open house and a visit with an old friend (Actually she is is only 22, and we are still good friends... except she's married), only pleasant dreams were to be expected. We even watched a lovely movie full of short 5-minute films about love, called Paris, je t'aime. One could only expect dreams full of "happily ever afters." But, alas, 'tis was not meant to be.
Instead, my dreams were full of vampires--in the disguise of children. Myself and others were supposed to be protecting and watching these children. Eventually, we were protecting others from these children. However, I felt weak, vulnerable, and scared. I wasn't much help and depended on those older, wiser, and stronger than I. I don't remember much more than that. Thank goodness! My alarm clock this morning had never been a more pleasant sound.
It must have been that short film about the love of vampires...

It's the start of something new...

The beginning of every semester always starts the same old way. You'd think I'd learn.

1. Denial of my enrollment in classes and the subsequent homework.
2. Acknowledgment but apathy. Forget homework... let's play!
3. ACK! Too much to do! I do care after all...
WARNING: This phase includes high stress levels, possible grouchiness, and much self-pity.
4. And finally... adjustment. I rock at school.

Pondering..

I just wrote entries for two other journals... why not one more?

I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... at least 6 different journals, oh wait... make that 7. Yikes. Journals in so many different plays cannot be effective.

The educators of future elementary school teachers have a thing for journals. Supposedly, they're good for you. Okay, so they are. However, when they are an assignment they are not always as much from the heart as they should be. As of now, three of my classes require the students to write a journal or various reflections.

Then, I have a personal, daily journal. My New Years' resolution is to write in it thrice weekly. I have written in it once... Elder Holland was right.
I also have my scripture journal.
Thirdly, I have a physical journal with about 10 pages left. I wanted to say I had at least filled up one journal in my life, so I can't quite be done with this one yet.
Then, of course, I have this blog thingy. I think this one wins for the most consistent entries as of late.

Well, I am off to... you guessed it! Write in another journal...

Marissa, the El Eder???

Well, I have officially started the elementary education program, a lifelong goal. (Okay, actually the goal is to become a teacher, but ya know...) I loved elementary school and had great teachers, and pretty much ever since then I wanted to be a teacher. Even once I was in the music program, I debated about whether I wanted to teach a regular classroom or music. Academic subjects were easier for me, and I wanted to continually work with the same 20 kids. However, the elementary music education program slowly molded and redirected my passions. Recently, I decided that yes, I am in fact going to teach music. I love it.

Now in the elementary education program, I just feel different than everyone else. First of all, I doubt half of them are really that passionate about teaching kids. But, ah, such is life, I guess. Second of all, I feel older and wiser than them. Yes, even though half of them are married. Partly because I basically just finished the music education program--I know a fair amount about education. And, I am 1-2 years older than them. Thirdly, I believe in the importance of a well-rounded education, including the arts. Not all of them do.

Something is wrong in the public school system today. Why are some kids at-risk? The traditional school setting and teaching methods are obviously not working for all children. I mean, "Hello!" we are all different and different methods need to be applied. Children need to gain experiences and not just digest a bunch of inapplicable facts.
I believe and in fact, I know, that pushing arts out of the schools and viewing them merely as a "frill" is part of this problem. Some children may learn concepts better through the arts--you would be surprised at how much music can teach you. You can develop many different skills while studying music--physical,emotional, volitional, social, and even mental. (If you don't believe me, I'll send you the 16 page research paper I wrote last semester.) Some kids may simply need music as an outlet and a source of pleasure in school.
Anyways, today's school system and people's disregard of the arts drives me nuts. Period. The next 2 years in the elementary education program could prove quite interesting...

Also, I have discovered a pet peeve: pessimism. This is not directed at y'all (namely, Meagan and Jenn) but to classmates. Venting with close friends is quite different than negative comments from people you don't even know. There are people griping and complaining in some of my classes about the structure and layout of a couple classes. Honestly, the teachers have a heck of a lot more experience than them. I think they know how to educate future teachers. (Even if they don't, they are typically under someone else, who designed the syllabus). Plus, there is nothing you can do to change the structure and format of the class. Focus on the positive stuff. If it bothers you... drop the class.